Wassup!

Well guys, i'm back.

i just felt like i needed to go on rant, and i'm not sure why

so...sorry.

so, to start off....

my sister is having a baby, and i'm way excited.

it's a girl! thank heavens.

she's due in June i think?

when she told us, Crew, my soon to be 5 year old nephew cried.

he said "but i wanted a brother!"

too cute.
i cannot wait to hold a new born baby.
ah!

on top of that, i've been dating my best friend for almost 6 months.
6 months!

we've had our ups and downs for sure, 

but i cant stay away from him.

he's the first boyfriend i've ever had.

as well and the first person i've said the L word to and actually meant it with my whole heart. 

he's one of the most patient, respectful, fun, hard working people i've ever met.

he has to be patient to be dating a crazy person like me.

i hate to be that girlfriend that just rants about how wonderful their boyfriend is. 

but he truly is so great.

he always makes me laugh when i don't want to.

he buys me flowers when i'm sad.
and he puts up with my serious Diet Coke addiction.
oh and....

he got me this:

yeah, a cat guys. A CAT.
and i love her a lot.
she cuddles with me every night.

On top of everything i got a promotion at work
and i'm back in school.
it feels so good to be learning again.
that sounds super gay...
but it's way true.
i'm only taking 6 credits, so judge me if you want...
but i think after taking 3 semesters off it's about time i take something.
so there it is.
that's my life, school, work, Ivan and Kitty.
i don't really have to much to complain about.
i'm very blessed and i'm so grateful for the life i've been given.
so yippie.
now all i need is Ed Sheeran tickets....
and a trip to Disneyland and i'll be one happy girl.

things are looking up?

After promising myself i would go to bed at a reasonable hour,

here i am. 

it's 1 o'clock and i'm starting a post.

the last time i posted i was a little upset.

to be honest not much has changed. 

but, 

a few things have.

thank heavens.

first of all, at my mom's request, i got put on an anti-depressant.

i wasn't very excited at first,

who would be.

but after being on them for about 2 weeks i feel so much better.

better than i thought i would.

i also got a sleeping pill, which has been SO NICE.

i can't even explain how nice it is to fall asleep really fast.

alright, so i'll start with when everything kinda changed.

on the 13th i got a text from Brie. who i had been thinking about for a while.

she text me and said that the roommates were all going out to dinner for Haley's birthday.

she asked if i wanted to go, and i about lost it.

i had been looking for a reason to go to Logan.

and here it was.

i had an interview at 4 and then i drove straight there.

no one knew i was coming except Brie.

we went shopping with Erik and then went back to the appartment.

the door opens and my other roommate Bre screams. i was expecting to find Haley,

but no such luck.

i start running up the stairs and i see her! 

i run and give her a hug and she starts crying.

i get like 50 points for that.

i was so excited to see her.

SO excited. 

we talked for a bit.

then we went to the awkward stake dance to get Britt, who was also very excited.

then we went to Chili's. 

Classic.

i look pretty scary in this picture.

anyways.

that was so fun. 

it was good to see everyone.

then we saw some people.

it was good to catch up.

Valentines day turned out to be fun. 

i stayed up in Logan, which was a good idea.

since Loni's ex boyfriend decided to take her out again.

i was shocked, but excited for her.

i went to class with Haley, which was so fun.

needless to say i don't miss school.

well....ok. i do miss school.

that was a lie.

then Haley left for her date. 

so me and my date went and roamed around. 

Britt joined us for a while, but she had a date she had to go to.

we got tickets for the Vow, which wasn't that good. 

by the way.

i love this girl.

we then decided we wanted to go bowling, 

it was around 12 and of course nothing was open.

stupid Logan.

we then went to Walmart with Erik and i got Loni a valentine.

i'm the sweetest.

i had to babysit the next morning, so i left Logan around 7:55. 

i said bye to everyone and tried so hard not to cry.

it was a hard car ride home.

i cried for a good half hour of it.

i got dumped by Loni for Broc.

ok, not to be dramatic....but it literally feels like it.

i literally feel like i'm going through a break up.

i've never really been through one....so this is as close as it gets.

and it really isn't that fun.

anyway. i babysat my life away.

not that i hated it, 

cuz i definitely didn't.

i mean look how cute they are!

worst quality ever....sorry.

anyways.

i wasted my time away watching Netflix for the next few days.

i literally watched tv for 3 days straight.

monday i picked Loni up from work,

we went to dinner and watched the bachelor.

i had a minor melt down on the way home from dinner.

i don't think Loni knew what to do.

sorry.

tuesday morning i decide to change my life around.

i got up and work out.

i showered.

i went and hung out with Julie and the kids.

and had an informal interview with Andrew. 

and guess what??

i got hired.

i'm an official employee of Chick-Fil-A.

i'm kind of nervous about it, 

but it'll all work out.

today i also got up and worked out.

2 days in a row, guys.

i'm on a roll!

i showered and hung around while Julie and Crew ran errands and Jada was asleep.

we then met Andrew at Blue Lemon.

holy eff that place is good.

we got free food because we were talking to the caterer. 

she'll probably bill us later.

oh well.

we walked around City Creek for a while.

saw the new Chick-Fil-A.

(my place of work)

and kinda hung out.

i came home and watched the last 3 episodes of Friday Night Lights.

if you haven't watched that show, i strongly suggest it.

it'll change your life.

and make you love football.

that's whats up.

so here's my thoughts for the month.

i can't decide if moving home from Logan was a good idea or not. i miss so many things about it. but at the same time...i don't miss it at all.

i have no idea what i want to do with my life. school? career? 

i have no idea what i'm doing with my job-i don't even know when i start. ha?

and i have absolutely no friends.

well...Loni.

sometimes.

when she's not with Broc, whom i resent. #sorrynotsorry

i just hope everything works out for the best.

its interesting for me to see who has made an effort to be in my life.

it's not the people that i would expect.

i've come to find that some of the people i need live in Logan.

is that i sign??

i've loved getting to know my old friends better.

especially Mckay.

good LAnd i love that boy.

if you ever need a best friends who is the absolute best-find a gay one.

not joking.

i LOVE him.

he says the sweetest best friend things to me.

not to mention he's hilarious.

and he's my sassy gay friend.

so....there's no 1-uping that. 

so anyone who's reading this- i love you.

and you're great.

and i'm sorry you had to read this extremely long, boring post.

but that's my life.

long and boring.

feelings

i've been having a really hard time lately, to be honest.
and i'm realizing i have a hard time sharing my "feelings".
negative ones anyway.
i think it all started when my mom gave me some huge chat and pretty much said i wouldn't be in love until i lost a lot of weight.
that's probably true.
but no one needs to hear that, especially from their mother.
i know she had good intentions, but still, that's not ok.

my decision to come home was a quick one. that i don't think i thought through all the way.
i don't regret my decision, at all.
i just wish i would've thought through it a little more.
i have no job.
i'm not going to school.
i have very few friends,
and nothing to look forward to.
to be honest, it really really sucks.
not to mention the whole my parents don't live together thing, and the fact that my mom thinks i won't get married, throw that all together and its just like....ugh.
i literally sleep till 3 everyday and do nothing.
it really makes me feel so good about myself!!
(no.)
i did however buy a WAY cute shirt today at Target. yeah, it cost me 25 bucks. but it was worth every penny.
i've resorted to wearing leggings everyday, and this super cute maternity shirt.
(don't judge me until you try wearing one. its the most comfortable shirt ever.)

so this is my attempt to "share my feelings."
all i did was sound like a big whiner.
whomp whomp.
my life sucks.
but it really doesn't.
and i think that's why i hate "sharing my feelings" about stuff like that.
yeah, i have stuff to complain about, but who doesn't? other than my parents and my weight, what do i have to complain about?
i have a house, and a nice car, a phone, food, clothes, a shower, a bathroom, a t.v., my cat, my family and Loni.
what else can one person need?
i hate sounding ungrateful.
which, to me, is what i sound like.
so anyways, there's my little rant.

Welcome To the New Year

deep title to bring in my non-exciting blog post.

Christmas came and went. 

New Years Eve was brought in, with a bang. 

i've never had more fun at a NYE party in my life.

between dancing with smoke to "Found Love In A Hopeless Place" by Rhianna

and playing just dance,

getting stuck in the bathroom trying to pull up my tights,

and hanging out with the Gaisford/Cook/Steinman family,

it was so so fun.

My roommate Britt came and stayed with me and Haley,

which was fun! 

but i felt a little awkward.

but whatever. good times.

then came my decision to stay home from Utah State.

i know. 

big decision.

i had been thinking about it a couple days before i was to go back.

i felt sick about it.

there was something so wrong with my decision to go back.

then came the news from my mom.

so my decision was made for me. (by me)

i'm staying home.

i think i tried so hard to want to go back, but my heart wasn't in it.

people needed me here.

i needed me to be here.

for my sanity, as well as my mothers.

so here i am.

back home in SLC.

moving back into my room.

getting rid of my crap i couldn't let go before.

2012 brought on a new me.

a little bit more cynical, a little bit more lost,

but here i am.

i'm almost 20 and i have a 1 o'clock curfew.

better than the midnight curfew i was going to have.

yeah.

that happened.

but i'm not complaining.

well....sort of.

wednesday i moved all my stuff home from Logan.

let's just say it was weird.

i thought it would be different than it would.

but, whatever. 

Loni and David came.

they helped a lot.

i'm glad they were there.

when i got home it took me and hour and a half to move my stuff.

needless to say i was SO sore the next day.

i'm so glad to be out of school.

to be honest, i never felt like i fit in up there.

i think i'm just so different than most people in Logan.

especially my roommates.

maybe that's all in my head.

but,

doesn't mean i don't love and miss everyone,

cuz i do.

but it is what it is.

i hate school anyway. 

the only thing that sucks is the fact that i have to find a job.

ha.

anyway. 

i don't have high hopes for this year.

my family having the problems that it does, 

and my lack of a social life minus Loni and Stacy,

really doesn't help much either.

but maybe that'll be good.

so 2012,

i have low expectations.

the year has just started and i'm ready for it to be over.

#negativeNacy

Fail: that's an F word.

i'm failing life.

literally.

ok...not literally.

but...kind of. 

i studied alllll Monday. literally.

from 3pm to 1:30am i studied.

with maybe 2 hours of breaks.

while Haley hung out with Mike for a good 5 hours of that.

while i studied.

then we took the Bio test.

i got a 60%.

she got a 70%.

life is unfair.

but whatever. 

then after my bio test, i studied for 2 more hours for my other test.

i didn't get the results for that till yesterday morning.

where i had slept through my classes. 

one i have a test friday,

and the other one i had to miss one more time and i fail.

literally.

too many absences. 

so i woke up at 12:30.

after Haley called me telling me i was gunna miss class.

i check my email and find out i got a 58% on my other test.

so i went back to sleep.

that was just too much to handle all at once.

tooo much.

so i woke up at 3. 

no joke.

so i get up and me and Britt decided to go to the grocery store,

where we run into Kenzi...who was working at the ham place.

which was the best. 

she is so freaking hilarious.

then we grocery shopped. 

which took us FOREVER.

then we bought our food.

(i dropped a good 87 dollars.)

then we went back and talked to Kenzi.

then we saw Erik! he's the best.

then we went back and put all our food away!!!

YESSSS!!

we finally have have food!

then we decided we were way hungry.

so we went to Pizza Pie Cafe.

me and Britt. 

on a cute little date.

we ate so much.

and then we had dessert pizza. 

which if you haven't had it,

i suggest you go get some right now.

it's freaking delicious.

we got home and Haley informed me that our classes were full.

so i spent the next the 3 and a half hours trying to find classes.

not exaggerating.

but Kayd knew i was having a bad day,

so she brought her roommate's brother's puppy over!! 

good LAND.

cutest thing ever.

it made my life.

i want a puppy super, super bad.

then all the classes i ended up wanting to get into were full.

so i'm taking stupid classes.

like masterpieces of music. 

good times.

this was a boring post.

so sorry.

xoxo, 

gossip girl

it's the freaking weekend

So i haven't posted in a while.

i don't know why.

but anyways.

this week has been a crazy one.

so much stuff has been going on.

if you want to read about it,

read Haley's blog

heyhayhay93@blogspot.com

i'll pick up where she left off.

well...anyways..

friday. Haley and i went to the zoo.

if you can call it a zoo.

Tanner calls it a shelter.

way funny.

then i went home and Tanner came over.

we ate some cup o soup and ramen.

then we watched the movie.

which has so awful acting.

super funny though.

then the guitars were brought out.

Tanner wrote this new song.

and it's FANTASTIC.

well..he had started writing it.

then couldn't concentrate on anything till it was finished.

so i put sweats on and he wrote his song.

then he sang it for me.

i wanted to cry it's so cute.

then we decided we were bored and wanted to do something...

before a particular person got home.

so we went to the dollar theatre.

which is actually 3 dollars.

then i bought watermelons.

and we say Abduction.

with Taylor Lautner.

which also has awful acting.

we were laughing through the whole move.

it was a good time.

then it ended and we were going home.

and i let Tanner drive my car.

which i don't really ever do.

then we got back and i made cookies.

while Haley and Mike did karaoke 

while Tanner went and sang his song for someone.

then he came back.

and we decided to watch another movie.

yes.

the 3rd movie that night.

we watched Fired Up.

and holy fetch is that movie just as funny as i remember.

everyone was laughing way hard.

then Tanner left.

then i went to bed.

Saturday, me and Haley woke up at like 1:30.

we went downstairs and did nothing.

then we got ready.

for like 3 hours.

then we got little caesars.

and a drink from mcd's. 

then we went back and did who knows what.

then Britt got home from her race in Provo.

yay! 

i missed her.

then she got ready.

then we went to Tanner's.

i played with the kitty.

then we went and saw his new house.

which was super cute.

then he sang us his song again.

then we were super bored.

so we came back to the apartment.

did more nothing.

went to walmart.

came back.

then did more nothing.

then we took Tanner home.

then Britt and I went to Kayds.

she taught Mission Prep today,

so we helped with the lesson.

it took a long time.

we got home at like 3.

woke up this morning and went to church.

which was really good.

it was all about missionaries.

i love missionaries.

Mitch spoke, and it was way good.

then Kayd's lesson was way good.

i didn't listen in Relief Society.

then we got home.

Haley and i rage cleaned the apartment.

for like 4 hours. literally.

it was a joke.

we live with a bunch of sluts.

oh and turns out Jennifer found her soul mate.

for real.

they went on their first date last night.

and fell in love.

we're gunna have game night with him tonight.

who's excited!!?

quirks

inspired by Hilary's blog i decided to do one of my own.

so here it goes.

20 of my quirks

Quirk: a peculiarity of action, behavior, or personality;mannerism: He is full of strange quirks.

1. i'm adopted. 

yaaay....so exciting! i forget most of the time. and so does my family. but it's part of me. and it's definitely different.

2. i read the same books over and over again.

embarrassing, but true. i've read Harry Potter 5, 6, and 7 at least 15 times each. not joking. i've also read Eclipse like....40 times. and that's not an over exaggeration. it's super embarrassing. but once i like it i have a hard time reading anything else.

3. i don't like when people touch my stuff.

ok...so it might just be because i'm the baby. or because i'm spoiled. but, needless to say it's true. i HATE when people touch my camera. or my computer. or my clothes. or my shoes. mostly because they don't treat it like i would. i'm very careful with my stuff. it's nice. and i'd like to keep it that way. i loath when people where my stuff and don't put it back in it's place. but, when asked, i'm usually pretty nice about it.

4. i'm crazy OCD. 

ok...so crazy is probably an over statement. but, i am OCD. i get made fun of a bit. but whatever. my shoes are all in a certain order. so are my shirts and my perfume. i like things one way and one way only. and i've always grown up with the house spotless--which contributes majorly. i also have grown up thinking everyone was taught to load the dish washer the same. i was dead wrong.

5. i'm pretty blunt.
one day we were sitting in church, and i was sitting next to Jaron (the missionary) and this crazy lady got up and was like "so i'm super blunt. and sometimes i offend people. so if i offend you, i'm sorry." Jaron leans over and goes "Jenna! that's you!" i don't even know i'm doing it half the time. i just feel like if i wanna say something, i should. i'd regret not saying it more than i would regret saying it. last night i was talking to Tanner and we were talking about reading people. i asked him whether i was easy to read or not. he said he's never had to try and read me. if i'm thinking of something--i'll say it. that's good right?

6. i can pop pretty much every joint on my body.
it drives my mom crazy. but half the time i don't even know i'm doing it. but hey! it's soothing?

7. cooking/baking soothes me.
yes, my husband will love me one day for it. but whenever i'm sad or stressed i'll do something in the kitchen. i think this is a recent development. i don't know what it is about it that's so soothing to me. but it totally is. plus i usually enjoy the results.

8. i love cats. a lot.
this is not a joke. i'm pretty sure everyone up here knows me as a cat lady. it's sort of a joke. yesterday we drove to Tanner's just to see his cutest kitten in the whole world. they just got it. oh it melted my heart! i also got to be friends with Jaron's cats. i'm a cat whisperer. it's fine. cat's love me. and i love them. so much.

9. i'm obsessed with perfume.
i rarely leave the house without putting perfume one. there's something about smelling good. it's reassuring? and i have to do it in a certain way or it's not right. (ocd) 2 sprays on my chest and 1 on my wrist.

10. i have to put lotion on before i go to bed.
it just feels wrong to not do it. plus it gives me soft hands!

11. i play with my hair a lot.
my mom always mentions it. i never notice i'm doing it. it's just a nervous habit. i notice it when i'm stressed. cuz then my hair gets nice and greasy! siiick.

12. i LOATHE speaking in front of people.
i get hard core butterflies. and my hands sweat and i get super out of breath. super annoying right? even if i'm like asking a question in class i get super nervous. it's the worst.

13. i dance in my sleep.
that's not even a joke. i've always been told i move around a lot. my covers are always all over. but, this summer i spent a week in New York with my dance company. i shared the room with 2 girls and a mom. the mom woke up in the night to go to the bathroom and she looked over, i'm dead asleep, kicking my leg in the air. she told me she just watched me do it forever thinking i was gunna get up. then she realized i wasn't. i was just gunna kick my leg. super weird.


14. i'm not a morning person.
oh man. that's such an understatement...but. it's the worst. i have this talent of being able to turn off my alarm in the morning without waking up. half the time i don't know i'm doing it until i wake up having slept through all my classes. nice right? i'm usually nice. but in the morning i'm in a super bad mood--until i wake up. then i'm fine. but it's that like hour...before i wake up that i'm mad.

15. i still sleep with my blankie, pillow pet and a fan
true statement. i love having my stupid pillow pet and my Mr. Boo. i can't sleep without them. well i can but it's hard. i can't, however, sleep without a fan. i need some sort of background noise. and i LOVE to be cold when i sleep. i have to sleep under a blanket, sheets, down comforter and a quilt. i sleep in a ball on my side all wrapped up in my "cocoon."

16. i have an awkward dance.
whenever i leave a room and come back and everyone looks at me i have this automatic response of doing this stupid dance. i just tap my toes. it's so stupid. i do it whenever everyone stops and looks at me.  everyone laughs though. so i guess that's good?


17. i bruise easily. 
it's a joke how easily i bruise. really though. i've had to get my blood checked a few times just to see if it was something serious. which, it's not. but, needless to say it's annoying. especially when i used to dance all the time. i would get the worst bruises ever. and there was nothing i could do about it. good times.

18. i get the ragies.
alright, so this might not be a quirk. but, it happens. i get in these moods sometimes where i can't sit still and i rage everyone. and it's not like a normal hyper. it's like a crazy, giggly, butt slapping, dancing, singing at the top of my lungs, squeezing people-hyper. it's the worst.

19. i have really short legs. seriously.
it's unreal how short they are. especially for my height/weight ratio. it's pretty unreal. they're super short. especially next to Haley who has daddy long legs-legs. pure joke.

20. i'm super flexible.
not just like my legs and stuff. like i have crazy flexible hands. i can spread my middle finger and my index finger extremely far apart. i was definitely not the most flexible person in dance, but considering i only took it for a few years i'd say i did pretty well.

so that's it. that's the end of my ramblings for the day. i'm weird and i'm not quite sure if all of those are quirks? but who cares. i don't.
so, see ya.