Wassup!

Well guys, i'm back.

i just felt like i needed to go on rant, and i'm not sure why

so...sorry.

so, to start off....

my sister is having a baby, and i'm way excited.

it's a girl! thank heavens.

she's due in June i think?

when she told us, Crew, my soon to be 5 year old nephew cried.

he said "but i wanted a brother!"

too cute.
i cannot wait to hold a new born baby.
ah!

on top of that, i've been dating my best friend for almost 6 months.
6 months!

we've had our ups and downs for sure, 

but i cant stay away from him.

he's the first boyfriend i've ever had.

as well and the first person i've said the L word to and actually meant it with my whole heart. 

he's one of the most patient, respectful, fun, hard working people i've ever met.

he has to be patient to be dating a crazy person like me.

i hate to be that girlfriend that just rants about how wonderful their boyfriend is. 

but he truly is so great.

he always makes me laugh when i don't want to.

he buys me flowers when i'm sad.
and he puts up with my serious Diet Coke addiction.
oh and....

he got me this:

yeah, a cat guys. A CAT.
and i love her a lot.
she cuddles with me every night.

On top of everything i got a promotion at work
and i'm back in school.
it feels so good to be learning again.
that sounds super gay...
but it's way true.
i'm only taking 6 credits, so judge me if you want...
but i think after taking 3 semesters off it's about time i take something.
so there it is.
that's my life, school, work, Ivan and Kitty.
i don't really have to much to complain about.
i'm very blessed and i'm so grateful for the life i've been given.
so yippie.
now all i need is Ed Sheeran tickets....
and a trip to Disneyland and i'll be one happy girl.

things are looking up?

After promising myself i would go to bed at a reasonable hour,

here i am. 

it's 1 o'clock and i'm starting a post.

the last time i posted i was a little upset.

to be honest not much has changed. 

but, 

a few things have.

thank heavens.

first of all, at my mom's request, i got put on an anti-depressant.

i wasn't very excited at first,

who would be.

but after being on them for about 2 weeks i feel so much better.

better than i thought i would.

i also got a sleeping pill, which has been SO NICE.

i can't even explain how nice it is to fall asleep really fast.

alright, so i'll start with when everything kinda changed.

on the 13th i got a text from Brie. who i had been thinking about for a while.

she text me and said that the roommates were all going out to dinner for Haley's birthday.

she asked if i wanted to go, and i about lost it.

i had been looking for a reason to go to Logan.

and here it was.

i had an interview at 4 and then i drove straight there.

no one knew i was coming except Brie.

we went shopping with Erik and then went back to the appartment.

the door opens and my other roommate Bre screams. i was expecting to find Haley,

but no such luck.

i start running up the stairs and i see her! 

i run and give her a hug and she starts crying.

i get like 50 points for that.

i was so excited to see her.

SO excited. 

we talked for a bit.

then we went to the awkward stake dance to get Britt, who was also very excited.

then we went to Chili's. 

Classic.

i look pretty scary in this picture.

anyways.

that was so fun. 

it was good to see everyone.

then we saw some people.

it was good to catch up.

Valentines day turned out to be fun. 

i stayed up in Logan, which was a good idea.

since Loni's ex boyfriend decided to take her out again.

i was shocked, but excited for her.

i went to class with Haley, which was so fun.

needless to say i don't miss school.

well....ok. i do miss school.

that was a lie.

then Haley left for her date. 

so me and my date went and roamed around. 

Britt joined us for a while, but she had a date she had to go to.

we got tickets for the Vow, which wasn't that good. 

by the way.

i love this girl.

we then decided we wanted to go bowling, 

it was around 12 and of course nothing was open.

stupid Logan.

we then went to Walmart with Erik and i got Loni a valentine.

i'm the sweetest.

i had to babysit the next morning, so i left Logan around 7:55. 

i said bye to everyone and tried so hard not to cry.

it was a hard car ride home.

i cried for a good half hour of it.

i got dumped by Loni for Broc.

ok, not to be dramatic....but it literally feels like it.

i literally feel like i'm going through a break up.

i've never really been through one....so this is as close as it gets.

and it really isn't that fun.

anyway. i babysat my life away.

not that i hated it, 

cuz i definitely didn't.

i mean look how cute they are!

worst quality ever....sorry.

anyways.

i wasted my time away watching Netflix for the next few days.

i literally watched tv for 3 days straight.

monday i picked Loni up from work,

we went to dinner and watched the bachelor.

i had a minor melt down on the way home from dinner.

i don't think Loni knew what to do.

sorry.

tuesday morning i decide to change my life around.

i got up and work out.

i showered.

i went and hung out with Julie and the kids.

and had an informal interview with Andrew. 

and guess what??

i got hired.

i'm an official employee of Chick-Fil-A.

i'm kind of nervous about it, 

but it'll all work out.

today i also got up and worked out.

2 days in a row, guys.

i'm on a roll!

i showered and hung around while Julie and Crew ran errands and Jada was asleep.

we then met Andrew at Blue Lemon.

holy eff that place is good.

we got free food because we were talking to the caterer. 

she'll probably bill us later.

oh well.

we walked around City Creek for a while.

saw the new Chick-Fil-A.

(my place of work)

and kinda hung out.

i came home and watched the last 3 episodes of Friday Night Lights.

if you haven't watched that show, i strongly suggest it.

it'll change your life.

and make you love football.

that's whats up.

so here's my thoughts for the month.

i can't decide if moving home from Logan was a good idea or not. i miss so many things about it. but at the same time...i don't miss it at all.

i have no idea what i want to do with my life. school? career? 

i have no idea what i'm doing with my job-i don't even know when i start. ha?

and i have absolutely no friends.

well...Loni.

sometimes.

when she's not with Broc, whom i resent. #sorrynotsorry

i just hope everything works out for the best.

its interesting for me to see who has made an effort to be in my life.

it's not the people that i would expect.

i've come to find that some of the people i need live in Logan.

is that i sign??

i've loved getting to know my old friends better.

especially Mckay.

good LAnd i love that boy.

if you ever need a best friends who is the absolute best-find a gay one.

not joking.

i LOVE him.

he says the sweetest best friend things to me.

not to mention he's hilarious.

and he's my sassy gay friend.

so....there's no 1-uping that. 

so anyone who's reading this- i love you.

and you're great.

and i'm sorry you had to read this extremely long, boring post.

but that's my life.

long and boring.

feelings

i've been having a really hard time lately, to be honest.
and i'm realizing i have a hard time sharing my "feelings".
negative ones anyway.
i think it all started when my mom gave me some huge chat and pretty much said i wouldn't be in love until i lost a lot of weight.
that's probably true.
but no one needs to hear that, especially from their mother.
i know she had good intentions, but still, that's not ok.

my decision to come home was a quick one. that i don't think i thought through all the way.
i don't regret my decision, at all.
i just wish i would've thought through it a little more.
i have no job.
i'm not going to school.
i have very few friends,
and nothing to look forward to.
to be honest, it really really sucks.
not to mention the whole my parents don't live together thing, and the fact that my mom thinks i won't get married, throw that all together and its just like....ugh.
i literally sleep till 3 everyday and do nothing.
it really makes me feel so good about myself!!
(no.)
i did however buy a WAY cute shirt today at Target. yeah, it cost me 25 bucks. but it was worth every penny.
i've resorted to wearing leggings everyday, and this super cute maternity shirt.
(don't judge me until you try wearing one. its the most comfortable shirt ever.)

so this is my attempt to "share my feelings."
all i did was sound like a big whiner.
whomp whomp.
my life sucks.
but it really doesn't.
and i think that's why i hate "sharing my feelings" about stuff like that.
yeah, i have stuff to complain about, but who doesn't? other than my parents and my weight, what do i have to complain about?
i have a house, and a nice car, a phone, food, clothes, a shower, a bathroom, a t.v., my cat, my family and Loni.
what else can one person need?
i hate sounding ungrateful.
which, to me, is what i sound like.
so anyways, there's my little rant.

Welcome To the New Year

deep title to bring in my non-exciting blog post.

Christmas came and went. 

New Years Eve was brought in, with a bang. 

i've never had more fun at a NYE party in my life.

between dancing with smoke to "Found Love In A Hopeless Place" by Rhianna

and playing just dance,

getting stuck in the bathroom trying to pull up my tights,

and hanging out with the Gaisford/Cook/Steinman family,

it was so so fun.

My roommate Britt came and stayed with me and Haley,

which was fun! 

but i felt a little awkward.

but whatever. good times.

then came my decision to stay home from Utah State.

i know. 

big decision.

i had been thinking about it a couple days before i was to go back.

i felt sick about it.

there was something so wrong with my decision to go back.

then came the news from my mom.

so my decision was made for me. (by me)

i'm staying home.

i think i tried so hard to want to go back, but my heart wasn't in it.

people needed me here.

i needed me to be here.

for my sanity, as well as my mothers.

so here i am.

back home in SLC.

moving back into my room.

getting rid of my crap i couldn't let go before.

2012 brought on a new me.

a little bit more cynical, a little bit more lost,

but here i am.

i'm almost 20 and i have a 1 o'clock curfew.

better than the midnight curfew i was going to have.

yeah.

that happened.

but i'm not complaining.

well....sort of.

wednesday i moved all my stuff home from Logan.

let's just say it was weird.

i thought it would be different than it would.

but, whatever. 

Loni and David came.

they helped a lot.

i'm glad they were there.

when i got home it took me and hour and a half to move my stuff.

needless to say i was SO sore the next day.

i'm so glad to be out of school.

to be honest, i never felt like i fit in up there.

i think i'm just so different than most people in Logan.

especially my roommates.

maybe that's all in my head.

but,

doesn't mean i don't love and miss everyone,

cuz i do.

but it is what it is.

i hate school anyway. 

the only thing that sucks is the fact that i have to find a job.

ha.

anyway. 

i don't have high hopes for this year.

my family having the problems that it does, 

and my lack of a social life minus Loni and Stacy,

really doesn't help much either.

but maybe that'll be good.

so 2012,

i have low expectations.

the year has just started and i'm ready for it to be over.

#negativeNacy

Fail: that's an F word.

i'm failing life.

literally.

ok...not literally.

but...kind of. 

i studied alllll Monday. literally.

from 3pm to 1:30am i studied.

with maybe 2 hours of breaks.

while Haley hung out with Mike for a good 5 hours of that.

while i studied.

then we took the Bio test.

i got a 60%.

she got a 70%.

life is unfair.

but whatever. 

then after my bio test, i studied for 2 more hours for my other test.

i didn't get the results for that till yesterday morning.

where i had slept through my classes. 

one i have a test friday,

and the other one i had to miss one more time and i fail.

literally.

too many absences. 

so i woke up at 12:30.

after Haley called me telling me i was gunna miss class.

i check my email and find out i got a 58% on my other test.

so i went back to sleep.

that was just too much to handle all at once.

tooo much.

so i woke up at 3. 

no joke.

so i get up and me and Britt decided to go to the grocery store,

where we run into Kenzi...who was working at the ham place.

which was the best. 

she is so freaking hilarious.

then we grocery shopped. 

which took us FOREVER.

then we bought our food.

(i dropped a good 87 dollars.)

then we went back and talked to Kenzi.

then we saw Erik! he's the best.

then we went back and put all our food away!!!

YESSSS!!

we finally have have food!

then we decided we were way hungry.

so we went to Pizza Pie Cafe.

me and Britt. 

on a cute little date.

we ate so much.

and then we had dessert pizza. 

which if you haven't had it,

i suggest you go get some right now.

it's freaking delicious.

we got home and Haley informed me that our classes were full.

so i spent the next the 3 and a half hours trying to find classes.

not exaggerating.

but Kayd knew i was having a bad day,

so she brought her roommate's brother's puppy over!! 

good LAND.

cutest thing ever.

it made my life.

i want a puppy super, super bad.

then all the classes i ended up wanting to get into were full.

so i'm taking stupid classes.

like masterpieces of music. 

good times.

this was a boring post.

so sorry.

xoxo, 

gossip girl

it's the freaking weekend

So i haven't posted in a while.

i don't know why.

but anyways.

this week has been a crazy one.

so much stuff has been going on.

if you want to read about it,

read Haley's blog

heyhayhay93@blogspot.com

i'll pick up where she left off.

well...anyways..

friday. Haley and i went to the zoo.

if you can call it a zoo.

Tanner calls it a shelter.

way funny.

then i went home and Tanner came over.

we ate some cup o soup and ramen.

then we watched the movie.

which has so awful acting.

super funny though.

then the guitars were brought out.

Tanner wrote this new song.

and it's FANTASTIC.

well..he had started writing it.

then couldn't concentrate on anything till it was finished.

so i put sweats on and he wrote his song.

then he sang it for me.

i wanted to cry it's so cute.

then we decided we were bored and wanted to do something...

before a particular person got home.

so we went to the dollar theatre.

which is actually 3 dollars.

then i bought watermelons.

and we say Abduction.

with Taylor Lautner.

which also has awful acting.

we were laughing through the whole move.

it was a good time.

then it ended and we were going home.

and i let Tanner drive my car.

which i don't really ever do.

then we got back and i made cookies.

while Haley and Mike did karaoke 

while Tanner went and sang his song for someone.

then he came back.

and we decided to watch another movie.

yes.

the 3rd movie that night.

we watched Fired Up.

and holy fetch is that movie just as funny as i remember.

everyone was laughing way hard.

then Tanner left.

then i went to bed.

Saturday, me and Haley woke up at like 1:30.

we went downstairs and did nothing.

then we got ready.

for like 3 hours.

then we got little caesars.

and a drink from mcd's. 

then we went back and did who knows what.

then Britt got home from her race in Provo.

yay! 

i missed her.

then she got ready.

then we went to Tanner's.

i played with the kitty.

then we went and saw his new house.

which was super cute.

then he sang us his song again.

then we were super bored.

so we came back to the apartment.

did more nothing.

went to walmart.

came back.

then did more nothing.

then we took Tanner home.

then Britt and I went to Kayds.

she taught Mission Prep today,

so we helped with the lesson.

it took a long time.

we got home at like 3.

woke up this morning and went to church.

which was really good.

it was all about missionaries.

i love missionaries.

Mitch spoke, and it was way good.

then Kayd's lesson was way good.

i didn't listen in Relief Society.

then we got home.

Haley and i rage cleaned the apartment.

for like 4 hours. literally.

it was a joke.

we live with a bunch of sluts.

oh and turns out Jennifer found her soul mate.

for real.

they went on their first date last night.

and fell in love.

we're gunna have game night with him tonight.

who's excited!!?

quirks

inspired by Hilary's blog i decided to do one of my own.

so here it goes.

20 of my quirks

Quirk: a peculiarity of action, behavior, or personality;mannerism: He is full of strange quirks.

1. i'm adopted. 

yaaay....so exciting! i forget most of the time. and so does my family. but it's part of me. and it's definitely different.

2. i read the same books over and over again.

embarrassing, but true. i've read Harry Potter 5, 6, and 7 at least 15 times each. not joking. i've also read Eclipse like....40 times. and that's not an over exaggeration. it's super embarrassing. but once i like it i have a hard time reading anything else.

3. i don't like when people touch my stuff.

ok...so it might just be because i'm the baby. or because i'm spoiled. but, needless to say it's true. i HATE when people touch my camera. or my computer. or my clothes. or my shoes. mostly because they don't treat it like i would. i'm very careful with my stuff. it's nice. and i'd like to keep it that way. i loath when people where my stuff and don't put it back in it's place. but, when asked, i'm usually pretty nice about it.

4. i'm crazy OCD. 

ok...so crazy is probably an over statement. but, i am OCD. i get made fun of a bit. but whatever. my shoes are all in a certain order. so are my shirts and my perfume. i like things one way and one way only. and i've always grown up with the house spotless--which contributes majorly. i also have grown up thinking everyone was taught to load the dish washer the same. i was dead wrong.

5. i'm pretty blunt.
one day we were sitting in church, and i was sitting next to Jaron (the missionary) and this crazy lady got up and was like "so i'm super blunt. and sometimes i offend people. so if i offend you, i'm sorry." Jaron leans over and goes "Jenna! that's you!" i don't even know i'm doing it half the time. i just feel like if i wanna say something, i should. i'd regret not saying it more than i would regret saying it. last night i was talking to Tanner and we were talking about reading people. i asked him whether i was easy to read or not. he said he's never had to try and read me. if i'm thinking of something--i'll say it. that's good right?

6. i can pop pretty much every joint on my body.
it drives my mom crazy. but half the time i don't even know i'm doing it. but hey! it's soothing?

7. cooking/baking soothes me.
yes, my husband will love me one day for it. but whenever i'm sad or stressed i'll do something in the kitchen. i think this is a recent development. i don't know what it is about it that's so soothing to me. but it totally is. plus i usually enjoy the results.

8. i love cats. a lot.
this is not a joke. i'm pretty sure everyone up here knows me as a cat lady. it's sort of a joke. yesterday we drove to Tanner's just to see his cutest kitten in the whole world. they just got it. oh it melted my heart! i also got to be friends with Jaron's cats. i'm a cat whisperer. it's fine. cat's love me. and i love them. so much.

9. i'm obsessed with perfume.
i rarely leave the house without putting perfume one. there's something about smelling good. it's reassuring? and i have to do it in a certain way or it's not right. (ocd) 2 sprays on my chest and 1 on my wrist.

10. i have to put lotion on before i go to bed.
it just feels wrong to not do it. plus it gives me soft hands!

11. i play with my hair a lot.
my mom always mentions it. i never notice i'm doing it. it's just a nervous habit. i notice it when i'm stressed. cuz then my hair gets nice and greasy! siiick.

12. i LOATHE speaking in front of people.
i get hard core butterflies. and my hands sweat and i get super out of breath. super annoying right? even if i'm like asking a question in class i get super nervous. it's the worst.

13. i dance in my sleep.
that's not even a joke. i've always been told i move around a lot. my covers are always all over. but, this summer i spent a week in New York with my dance company. i shared the room with 2 girls and a mom. the mom woke up in the night to go to the bathroom and she looked over, i'm dead asleep, kicking my leg in the air. she told me she just watched me do it forever thinking i was gunna get up. then she realized i wasn't. i was just gunna kick my leg. super weird.


14. i'm not a morning person.
oh man. that's such an understatement...but. it's the worst. i have this talent of being able to turn off my alarm in the morning without waking up. half the time i don't know i'm doing it until i wake up having slept through all my classes. nice right? i'm usually nice. but in the morning i'm in a super bad mood--until i wake up. then i'm fine. but it's that like hour...before i wake up that i'm mad.

15. i still sleep with my blankie, pillow pet and a fan
true statement. i love having my stupid pillow pet and my Mr. Boo. i can't sleep without them. well i can but it's hard. i can't, however, sleep without a fan. i need some sort of background noise. and i LOVE to be cold when i sleep. i have to sleep under a blanket, sheets, down comforter and a quilt. i sleep in a ball on my side all wrapped up in my "cocoon."

16. i have an awkward dance.
whenever i leave a room and come back and everyone looks at me i have this automatic response of doing this stupid dance. i just tap my toes. it's so stupid. i do it whenever everyone stops and looks at me.  everyone laughs though. so i guess that's good?


17. i bruise easily. 
it's a joke how easily i bruise. really though. i've had to get my blood checked a few times just to see if it was something serious. which, it's not. but, needless to say it's annoying. especially when i used to dance all the time. i would get the worst bruises ever. and there was nothing i could do about it. good times.

18. i get the ragies.
alright, so this might not be a quirk. but, it happens. i get in these moods sometimes where i can't sit still and i rage everyone. and it's not like a normal hyper. it's like a crazy, giggly, butt slapping, dancing, singing at the top of my lungs, squeezing people-hyper. it's the worst.

19. i have really short legs. seriously.
it's unreal how short they are. especially for my height/weight ratio. it's pretty unreal. they're super short. especially next to Haley who has daddy long legs-legs. pure joke.

20. i'm super flexible.
not just like my legs and stuff. like i have crazy flexible hands. i can spread my middle finger and my index finger extremely far apart. i was definitely not the most flexible person in dance, but considering i only took it for a few years i'd say i did pretty well.

so that's it. that's the end of my ramblings for the day. i'm weird and i'm not quite sure if all of those are quirks? but who cares. i don't.
so, see ya.

See you in 2

yes, this is going to be another blog post about missionaries.

yes. i love them.

alright?

especially this one:

isn't he just adorable?

Elder Jaron Fowers was introduced to the roommates one of the first weeks up here.

Jaron and Britt have been dating for 2 years.

2 years.

their love for each other is one of the most tender things in the whole world.

you just gotta see it to know.

i love watching them together.

if they aren't soul mates i'll be upset.

...moving on.

Jaron was called to serve in the Fort Worth, Texas mission.

reporting to the Provo MTC November 2nd. 

(yes, today)

if this kid doesn't love the Lord, i don't know who does.

i can't count the number of times the church was brought up in random conversations.

i can't count the number of times he said how excited he was to serve.

i can't count the number of times i thought of how good of a missionary he was going to be.

his love for the church touched me every time.

little does he know that the fact he's going was a testimony builder to everyone around him.

at least for me,

it changed my whole point of view on the church.

it made me want to go and be worthy to marry someone like him.

it made me not want to marry any less than an RM.

and it made me realize how big of a thing the church is.

with respect to the fact that i've only known Jaron for a short time,

i'm going to miss him.

SO MUCH.

So, Jaron, if you ever read this.

you're the best.

i'm so grateful for the influence you've been in my life.

i'm so grateful that i had the chance to get to know you.

thank you for your excellent choice in music.

thank you for your fantastic sense of humor.

thank you for taking the time to get to know me.

and wanting to.

thank you for caring about me.

thank you for being so sweet to Brittany.

thank you for being such a good example.

thank you for being the perfect example of someone i want to marry.

thank you for your testimony.

thank you for letting me pet your kitties.

thank you, thank you, thank you.

i can't wait to get your letters/write you.

i can't wait to hear about all the wonderful stuff you're doing,

and the people you're converting.

Texas is lucky to have such an amazing person.

so, farewell.

God be with you.

good luck

and see you in 2!

halloweeeny

happy halloween.

i thought i would have to spend this evening alone.

but..

thanks to Haley being sick,

she's staying here.

and then we're gunna hang out with Darren.

i like him a lot.

he's suuuper funny.

anyways. 

friday wasn't that exciting.

Saturday was though.

Strauss and Saul came up friday night and stayed over.

they slept in their car of course.

then they made me and Haley go to Lava Hot Springs in Idaho.

way freaking fun.

it took a while to get there,
and to get back,
but...
it was way fun.
we ate at this cute little restaurant in the cutest little town ever.
i want to live there.
and i bought a "vamp it up" bracelet at some crazy store.
way way fun.
then we got ready for the howl.
which i had a great time at.
we got there and Saul left his ID at the apartment, so he had to run home.
Strauss and I stood outside the doors forever. lookin fresh.
then we got in and they both got in free.
unreal.
unfreaking real.
then we went and danced a bit.
then we got free soda.
yess!
then we had to chug it.
which sucked.
never chug a Dr. Pepper. it's the worst.
then we went and romped around upstairs.
then went to the concert.
Shut Up And Deal opened, and they were way good!
super crazy.
then Cartel.
oh Cartel.
sooooo good.
i loved that concert.
it was super sketchy at first cuz everyone was trying to get to the front.
me and Kayd got smashed.
sooo gross and sweaty.
then it mellowed out as it went on.
they played my favorite songs.
they played Honestly last.
some guy sang to me.
so i sang back.
it was way funny.
we were both getting super into it.
then we peaced out way fast.
i didn't want to talk to him.
so then we went to the dance.
and it was suuuuper sketchy,
everyone was rumping hardcore.
so us 4 just partied.
in our little circle.
while everyone around us got it on.
it's fine.
then we went to Village Inn.
oh man.
everyone was super hyper and super funny.
i was laughing way hard the whole time.
everyone ate my fries.
i don't know what it is,
but if i say people can have one,
they take like 3000.
i'm like ok.
i'm BUYING these.
whores.
anyway.

sunday was good.
we slept in.
then we debbed around.
i did my visiting teaching.
then i made dinner for Darren and his roommate John Tucker.
and Brie, Bre and myself.
it was really good.
my mom has some awesome recipes.
then we just hung out.

monday.
slept in.
got ready.
went to SI with Darren.
(he's the best)
then got ready again.
went trick or treating with Britt and Jaron and Haley.
it was Jaron's last hurrah.
then we went to dinner at the Tavern
(the Cuddly Duckling)
then we went to Walmart and got stuff for carmel apples.
then we went to Darren's to get a scary movie.
he didn't have any.
so we came back and ate the apples.
it was way funny.
and it got everywhere.
everyone looked like a caveman.
then we talked for a bit.
then we watched X-Men First Class.
then we said bye to Jaron.
whomp whooomp.
it was so sad.
i'm gunna miss that kid so much.
he's gunna be a fantastic missionary.
we'll see him in 2 years!

Fung Shwaay

we rearranged the room today.

it looks fantastic.

i'm basically in love with it.

we put our dresser in our closet.

so we had to downsize the closet by like 4 feet.

so....that meant a lot of folding and stuffing.

me and Haley, combined, have so much stuff.

it feels right though.

everything looks so homey! 

i raised my bed up too. 

it's super high.

and i have to step on my cinder block to get on it.

way fun.

and Haley can stare at me while i sleep.

hello creeper.

Capacity (a synonym for productive)

i was so productive today.

i got up and got dressed.

ok...so i was late for class...

that was the worst...

but! 

it turned around quick.

i went to my other class and finished my assignment IN CLASS.

then i went and did my discussion group.

then i worked out.

then i went to SI and hour early.

thanks to Haley.

so we sat in the quad side cafe.

then we went to SI and it was the best.

then i saw my cousin.

then we went to Wendy's.

then i did my homework.

now i'm blogging!

it's been a good day!!

oh jeez,

except that it's freaking COLD. 

it dropped like 20 degrees.

AND I WORE MY COMBAT BOOTS.

wooty. woot.

am i being boring because i don't do fun colors or put up pictures anymore?

nope.

rant of the day

i've been feeling super off this week.

i don't know what it is.

but i hate it.

maybe it's the after shock of PMS.

but maybe it's different.

i feel like i'm missing something and i don't know what it is.

i can't figure it out.

plus i've been having boy troubles.

but not really.

i think i'm just being too sensitive.

i need to stop being like that.

is it bad to say i need to focus more on myself?

is that too self centered?

i feel like i've been super self centered lately.

i need to stop that too.

things i need to stop doing:

1. being self centered.
2. missing class.
3. taking things personally.
4. reacting to things i take personally.
5. reading too into things.
6. being inappropriate.
7. eating out.
8. not doing my homework.
9. being down on myself.
10. leaving my dishes out. 
11. going to bed way late.
12. tweeting all of my feelings. 
13. leaving my bed unmade.
14. talking about myself so much.
15. being a bad friend.

things i need to start doing:

1. praying

2.  reading my scriptures.

3. doing my homework.

4. focusing on school.

5.  working out.

6. budgeting.

7. calling my parents more.

8. being happy.

9. eating better.

10. setting goals.

11. taking more "me" time.

12. taking more pictures.

13. writing poetry again.

14.  petting more kitties.

15. blogging more.

who knew life was so difficult.

i sure never expected it to be so hard.

if anyone could give me tips on life...

please do.

i need it.

and also,

is it too much to ask for a freaking guy to stop leading me on?

really though.

if you're a guy, and you're reading this:

i think you're an idiot.

i say YES to all of that.

   

#pinning

i got a pinterest.

soo....yeah.

um. yes.

tests and toddlers

Fall break has arrived!!! 

finally.

i have been looking forward to this day for a long time.

because my mom and sister and her 2 kids are coming up.

i have the cutest niece and nephew in the whole world.

not joking.

just look at all the pictures i post.

fetch they are cute.

and i'm so excited to hang out with my mom and my sister!

i consider them to be my best friends.

i can not WAIT! 

they will be here in like half an hour.

aw! sister!

i took a test today. which sucked.

hard core.

yes, hard core.

it was awful.

good thing i somewhat studied last night.

Daddy's Girl

i'm a daddy's girl.

hence the title of this post.

it's true though.

i have been, and always will be.

when i was little i used to yell at my mom and tell her i hated her 

and that i only wanted dad.

things have definitely changed since then.

but...one thing hasn't.

i'm the favorite.

everyone knows it.

i'm the baby.

i'm a girl.

and i was adopted.

my dad's mom died of cancer before i was born.

i've always been told that i was my dad's gift from her.

me and my dad have always been close.

he's always spoiled me.

and not just with stuff.

with so much love.

i think i can count on one hand the number of times he's gotten mad at me.

he's always taken me places with him.

he's always taken my side. 

well...most of the time.

he's always been so understanding.

not a very great picture...

but this man has to be one the most selfless people i've ever known.

he rarely does something for himself.

he works non stop, just to give us a good life.

but, one of the greatest things about my dad is his love for humanitarian work.

he has been to south america 1 or 2 times.

and africa at least 4.

he is so willing to give.

he plans his whole year around Africa.

it's so important to him.

one time i asked him why it was so important.

he told me that God gave him the gift and ability to do dentistry,

so why should he not share his talents with people who truly need it.

isn't that so cool?

he is the best.

i miss him so much.

over the summer there was a few weekends where we just hung out.

we would go to dinner and a movie or just to run errands.

it was so fun.

i cherished every moment. 

he's gone a lot, because he commutes to Nevada once a week and is there for a couple days.

i don't see him that much.

so it was fun to have that time with him.

i'm so lucky to have such amazing parents.

whomp whomp.

i feel this overwhelming desire to blog.

but i have nothing really to blog about.

so...

i'll ramble.

i just took a test in biology and i don't think i did very well.

i felt like i completely understood the homework...

but not the test.

i hope i passed.

i got an email from my dad today.

he's in Africa and i was scared something had happened to him.

but, all is well.

i miss him.

but, i'm way excited for my mom and sister and niece and nephew to come up.

i am so freaking excited.

i tell everyone about it.

boys are stupid. i've been hanging out with a boy lately.

he's sending some seriously mixed signals.

which really suck.

i'd like to know whether he likes me or not.

but...i don't know if i ever will.

so if any boy is reading this i have some advice.

stop leading girls on.

if you like them, like them.

if you don't, then make that clear.

jeez.

it really makes girls feel like crap to me messed with.

i'll fight everyone.

but...there is one boy, in particular who is my favorite.

so, this is a shout out to my friend Steven.

i absolutely ADORE this boy.

i don't know what it is about him, but i want to be around him all the time.

he probably thinks i'm a big weirdy,

but i don't really care.

he's the sweetest. 

me and the roommates always talk about him and how cute he is.

i'm glad he's staying all year. 

that's the end for now.

i have to go to the stupid writing lab. i hope it does't take that long.

i'm not in the mood today.

i'm getting sick and i have a migraine. 

but, on the upside i have nothing to do today.

AND i was a big deb and wore sweats to school.

best idea i've ever had.

Teacup Tuesday

yeah, taco tuesday has officially been renamed.

we're having a tea party.

i have it all planned out...

sort of. 

it'll be way fun.

so, it might not be as legit as this...but it will be freaking SWEET.

and i decided that it's going to be british and super vintage.

gosh i'm way excited! 

i hope everything goes down the way i think it will.

which, things never do. 

but,

i'm going to be optimistic.

we're gunna play nice music and watch a scary movie after.

like The Birds.

jeez i'm so excited!!

i am not excited, however, to do my biology homework.

jeeeezzzzzzz.

Boys Boys Boys

so, the last couple weeks me and Haley have had some life chats.

Mostly based on people not wanting to go on missions, or spending their time getting ready to go.

it has hit me how important missions are and how defining they can be.

i've never really thought much about how hard it must be for them to go.

or how important it is for ME to marry an RM.

but, 

i've come to a few conclusions:

Missions are important.

Simple...but true.

yeah, its a commandment from a prophet.

and yeah, you're super required to go.

but, all boys should want to.

i feel like the benefits outweigh the costs. 

there is nothing you have at home that is worth staying for.

and going isn't even about you.

it's about being selfless and serving the Lord. 

I respect anyone that goes.

i cannot explain the respect i've gained for people who go.

one of my roommates has a boyfriend who

got his endowments early so he could be in the temple for his sister's wedding.

AND has been dating my roommate for 2 years, and is still going.

unfreaking real.

this kid is a serious inspiration.

i can't even explain the amount of respect i have for him.

he's so willing and excited to go.

his farewell is next sunday and i'm way sad.

he's going to be such a fantastic missionary.

Boys get cuter the more righteous they are.

so...semi off topic. but not really.

i absolutely LOVE hanging out with boys that are excited to go.

it makes the biggest difference in the way i act around them.

they make me want to be a better person, 

and they make me want to be worthy to hang out with them.

oh they're so freaking CUTE!

today we went and listened to Tanner speak in his ward.

it was so adorable.

he gave a really awesome talk.

and to top it off, he cried! 

it was so cute!! 

he talked about how he recognized how preparing to go on a mission was blessing his life.

the fact that he knows it wasn't just chance that he got his current job,

but that it was the Lord's hand made me realize how much i want to marry someone like that.

I love hanging out with RM's.

oh man. 

hanging out with them is so freaking fun.

i think one of the things i like about it is how respectful they are.

i really feel like they have so much respect for everyone.

and not only do they have respect, but they have this genuine love for everyone.

it's crazy to think that they learned that in 2 short years. 

the best is hearing their stories.

i can't get enough of the mission stories!

and you learn so much about them from their stories.

last weekend me and DJ talked about his mission to Ukraine for a long time.

we talked about all the gross stuff he ate.

and he told me this story where on his Pday his companion prayed for someone to meet and talk to between the store and their apartment, which was right across the street. DJ said he didn't really want to talk to anyone and that he just wanted to enjoy his Pday. 

then as they opened the door they stopped and talked to someone and he was baptized later.

and that's the end for right now.

in conclusion, i love missionaries and premies. 

i'm so thankful to have them in my life.

especially Tanner, Jaron, and all the boys at D2. 

i'm so blessed to have such good examples surrounding me!

and all you stupid boys who don't want to go on a mission...

STOP BEING IDIOTS.

GO ALREADY!