Tuesday, September 13, 2011


I'm sitting here, in my room, on a monday night, blogging about my feelings.
i'm doing this to not only make myself feel better, but to make it so i have something to refer to later....as i continue, it'll make more sense.
Tonight was a long, and eventful one.
Me, Haley, Mike, Brie and her cousin Kaydee went to Pita Pit which was delicious.
Then we came back here while i raged around. I was in an extremely giggly/laughy mood.
then we went and played Call Of Duty at Mike's apartment. super fun. Haley slept while we played to like 75 kills. literally. i did pretty well, getting like 50. maybe.
then i had the ragies and couldn't sit still.
so we decided to box.
full on boxing glove box.

I had a BLAST. i swear i've never laughed so hard in my life. 
Mike hit me right in the jaw and it was so funny.
It was one of the funniest things that's ever happened to me.
we then played the 2 finger game.
if you've never played it, don't.
it's NOT that fun.
But, it's where you take 2 fingers and have to hit the other person's forearm as hard as you can.
i have welts/bruises and it hurt so bad.
but, never the less, way way funny.
this is where it gets stupid.
we sit in Mike's room while he writes his paper, and i soul search.
which is never a good thing to do when you're about to start your period and you're super emotional.
i proceeded to think about how i like a certain someone and he's flirting it up with some girl.
not ok. plus she really is not nice...and not that cute.
so here's where i'm going to be annoying:

This is me.
I am this.
i'm really nice.
i have pretty hands.
i'm sincere.
i'm genuine.
i'm smart.
i'm fun.
i own at COD.
i'm pretty good at boxing to.
i'm talented.
i have big eyes.
i'm clean.
i'm organized.
i have soft hands.
i'm a good friend.
i'm loyal.
i have pretty lips.
i have pretty hair.
i'm honest.
i'm faithful.
i'm good at taking pictures.
this is me.
i am this.

Yeah, i did just write a poem about myself. did it make me feel any better? no. but kind of.
am i way good at writing poems? no. not really.
so why did i do it?
i don't know.
i was always told that whenever you're having a bad day you're supposed to dress up and look as cute as you can.
(i was never really told that growing up. i read it somewhere like 2 years ago.)
but, seeing as it's 1:15am and there's nothing i want to do less, 
i'll save that for another day.
but hey, on the plus side,
i think me and Mike are finally official friends. 
crying really brings people together.
unless you're awkward, him and Haley got,
they didn't really know what to do.
i love them. 
but it's true. 
(Haley, don't be offended. i still love you. even if you don't know how to handle my tears.)
needless to say, i've come to realize a few things about myself.

1. I care more about people than i think i do.
(referring to that stupid boy)

2. when i like someone, i go all in.
(even if they don't know, or don't care)

3. i eat emotionally.
(freshman 15, here i come)

4. i am not as confident as i think i am.
(that sounds so stupid, but, lesbihonest)

5. i'm not very good at hiding my emotions.
(that's fine, right?) (no)

6. boys go for easy slutty girls. just cuz they're easy and slutty.
(weird huh?)

7. i'm kind of a man.
(i like to game, box and watch football) (what?)

8. i hate being the 3rd wheel. even when it's my best friend.
(i love her, and i love anything that makes her happy. but sometimes it's too much.)
(especially when i'm feeling like a big loser.)

9. i feel the need to be accepted by guys.
(maybe because i want to be different from all the other girls?)

10. i need to believe that God has a plan for me.
(i've never thought about that really. but, better late than never)

So there ya have it.
im allowed to blog about myself. so if you hate on this,
lez off.

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